No Title for this Post ;-)

I find that that blogging has become a source of support for me, whether anyone is reading or not. The past few weeks have been a bit challenging as far as sticking to the diet is concerned. I've also been feeling so good about the weight I've lost that I'm surprised when I look in the mirror and still see an overweight woman. Huh? I can pull my pants off without unzipping them so clearly my bum is shrinking, so why do I still look like this? That may be confusing to read so let me clarify that I'm not upset about how I look, it's that I feel really great. Mostly anyway LOL.

The newness has worn off. I was excited about the new meals I was making, the changes to my diet, and I thought the time-consuming aspect of researching, planning and making meals would go away. Because the excitement has worn off, so has the drive to put so much effort into this. Unfortunately this is reflected by the numbers on the scale. I have not gained any back because for the most part I've stuck to the plan. For that I'm very happy. However, I need to lose weight at this point, not maintain. Therefore, I need to accept that the hard work of losing weight. I thought that "hard work" meant I'd have to make sacrifices, put in the time at the gym and spend more time cooking (and thus cleaning). But in order to be successful I have to continue finding new recipes, and planning meals and snacks a week at a time. of course the other challenge is doing this on about $5 a day. *sigh*

Tomorrow I will put together a plan for the week, hopefully without having to buy too much stuff from the store.

Also, I've been craving exercise all week but haven't indulged once, and I'm not really sure why. Last Sunday I actually jogged on the treadmill, and since then I've been thinking about how good it feels to move and and use my body in ways that I used to do every day as a kid. It's not normal for me to do things I want, only things that I have to do, so maybe that is the issue here. If I have to exercise, I will, but if I want to, I deny myself because it's all I know how to do--but that's a different topic for a different day.

So in addition to preparing my meal plan for the week, I'm going to treat myself to a trip to the gym. Right after I treat myself to a discount morning movie, at an actual movie theater, something I haven't done in months.

Also, I've relisted my summer goals--which are also rewards--as a reminder of some of the things I'm working toward.

LL xoxo

• Attend an outdoor theatre show
• Attend an off-broadway show 
• Take two out-of-town trips
• Do a bit of yard work
• Spend some time with friends 
• Read

The Incredible Shrinking Woman!

255.6 and going!

I really look forward to mornings now because it means I get to step on the scale, which now is usually a great start to the day. It reflects my efforts in the prior days which motivates me to continue with those efforts.

A took me to dinner last night using a Groupon he had for a new sandwich shop. I was very concerned because a lot of times the salads at these places are tiny and seriously lacking substance and flavor. Lucky me they had a gyro salad, two sizes, so I gobbled down the large and was quite satisfied.

After dinner we walked around a part of a lake that is very popular in this area. It was just a leisurely 1.7 mile stroll but the alternative was to sit on the couch. We both wanted to get outdoors too, so this was terrific. There are nearly 10 miles of paths around this lake, and we took part of one that neither of us had been on before (turns out we've only touched on the same 2 miles our entire lives) so it felt like a vacation. We saw a bog and imagined we were in Florida swamplands, then walked near a very tall highway bridge that was so surreal we felt like a T Rex might come around one of the legs at any minute! It was fun, relaxing, creative and fun.

The milestone goal I'm working toward right now is 245 by June 23, 20 days from today. It is possible but I think I'll miss it by a couple of pounds. I am more than O.K. with this because hey, I will be in the 240's during this time, more than 20 pounds lighter than when I started this. I am so excited!! I'll get to do some shopping for better fitting clothes then too :-D

That's all for now. Hope all are well.

LL xoxo

Refocusing

Milestone Goal: Vacation, June 23, 245 (currently 257)

I've decided that instead of showing my current weight and weight loss, I'm going to list my next milestone goal, which will help me stay on track.

I seem to have lost my focus and have been finding exceptions for not following the plan. It's sort of weird how I am--I don't want to have a strict schedule, but if I don't have some sort of schedule there almost always are negative consequences. I am the type of person who likes to be busy but needs downtime so that I don't get overwhelmed. Right now I am lacking direction and have spent the past 1-2 weeks sort of flying by the seat of my pants, as they say. The result is that I feel very disorganized and that many things are suffering because of it.

I think part of the problem is that I'm still afraid of becoming overwhelmed. I have a history of either taking on too much or simply having too much to handle, both of which lead me to falling aprt and I hate that feeling. I'm also concerned about being to rigid with my schedule, but I really shouldn't because everyone who knows me understands and is perfectly fine with it. They know I have a busy life, and right now they all know how important it is for me to lose weight. What I need to do is regroup. In the past two weeks I've only lost a pound. I was O.K. with it last week, but not now.

My chaotic schedule is getting in the way of me taking the time necessary to plan and prepare meals and snacks. I'm going too long in between eating which has led to making bad meal choices. I'm bored with the quick meals and snacks because there isn't any variety. I like to read in bed but I've been going to bed much too late and therefore I haven't checked out any new recipes to try. I don't even look forward to eating at home right now.

So the first thing I need to do is remind myself why I'm doing this. I made a list of milestone goals recently so I'm going to start focusing on each one as it comes in order to stay on track. My next goal is 4 weeks from today when me and A go on vacation. I am 14 lbs away from that goal so I already know I won't make it because the most I have ever lost is 3 lbs per week. However, if I modify it to reflect the fact that I was 2 lbs from making my last milestone goal, the adjustment would put me right on target.

I also need to spend less time on the computer. I'm sure I have some sort of mild addiction because once I'm on I don't want to get off. Almost every morning I spend an hour or more doing nothing of value. That has to stop.

Additionally, I have so many things to do in the morning that lately I've just stopped doing them. When this happens, I don't go to work or I go late. I have work I can do from home but instead I avoid it (and all other responsibilities) when I waste time online.

I've written about what hasn't been working, so here is what I will do to make it all start working again:

• Prepare for my day the night before to ease the burden of a busy morning. Start doing this at 9p so that I can . . .
• . . . be in bed by 10p to get enough rest--the best start to any day
• Plan my menu for the week and put a printout of it in the kitchen.
• Exercise three times a week. In between trips to the fitness center, do a few exercises at home, such as crunches and squats.

I looked back and found my Goals for the Summer, and I need to be reminded of what they are:

• Attend "Bye Bye Birdie," the last show of the summer, at the Muny.
• Attend a show at the Fox Theater.
• Take two out-of-town trips.
• Do a bit of yard work.
• Spend some time with friends.

Wish me luck!

LL xoxo