Calories
I ate over 3,000 calories yesterday, but it wasn't the quantity, it was the quality of the food. In all I had 2.5 hamburgers, french fries, popcorn, 2 apples and a sweet potato. If you spread out that quantity over the day it's not bad. It's just what the food was. Well you see, I'm not stupid. I knew that the fat content and calories were far more than I should have been ingesting. I always know. But rather than just "know," I've started recording what I eat on FitDay.com so that I can see how many calories and where those calories are from. Yesterday I ate 50% more calories than the day before.
Timing
I skipped breakfast because I had an early meeting. I wasn't hungry and didn't really think about it. If I had, I would've done what I always do--assumed there was nothing I could put together and eat quickly and skip it anyway. I also would've just made plans to go to lunch or brunch after the meeting. Guess what? This just makes me hungrier, more desperate for calories, and no matter the good intentions I have, I always, ALWAYS go for the most calorie dense food, and too much of it.
I have a late class on Tuesdays, so I took a baked sweet potato to eat while at work as well as 2 apples to eat during the class break. I knew I'd still want to eat something when I got home (which is after my 9p cutoff for eating) but I figured I'd just have the salad that's sitting in the fridge. Well on the way home I called my boyfriend and got upset with him. Before I got off the phone, the oil for the french fries was heating up on the stove and I was making patties out of ground beef for the hamburgers. I knew what I was doing and why, I just didn't care.
I made three burgers and ate around 10:30, 1.5 hours past my cutoff time. I wanted more fries but decided to eat another hamburger. They were sitting there, not being eaten. I thought about how I could aspirate from eating too close to bedtime, but I did it anyway. Wanna know what I did to prevent aspirating? I slept on the couch. I can sleep on my side better on the couch than the bed because I can put my weight against the back of the couch, which then sort of props me up. Also, the center of the couch sinks a bit, so that puts my stomach lower than my head, so I don't aspirate. Sad, isn't it?
Sleep
I was so tired from not getting enough rest the night before, and at midnght my body was ready to sleep. I did a few things around the house and then watched 2 too many episodes of Third Rock from the Sun, so I didn't go to sleep until 1a.m.
Focusing on the Positives
Because I don't expect to be perfect, because I understand that I will reach my goals by making small changes, by not allowing myself to use the mistakes and shortcomings as tools for self-abuse, and by not allowing the downfalls to to keep me from continuing on my journey . . . here are the things that I'm proud of from yesterday:
- eating something healthy
- taking food with me to work and class to aleviate late-night hunger
- cooking at home
- going to bed an hour earlier than usual
- tracking my calories
I'm writing this while sitting at Panera. I came her to eat (skipped breakfast, again) and do homework. I wasn't sure how I'd do with the calories, but I came in knowing that I'd skip the pastries. To my wonderful surprise, I saw that they've added the calories of each item next to each item listed on the menu. Oh Happy Day!! I actually ordered by the numbers! I chose the lowest calorie soup and the lowest calorie sandwich (tuna salad of all things); however I did get chips for the side ;-) I then went online and added this to today's food diary, and so far I've had 500 calories, 32% of it from fat. Not bad!! Yesterday half of my calories were from fat. So if I eat well for dinner and a snack, I'm sure that 32% will drop some. YAY!!!
LL xoxo
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