Personal Inventory

Today I started putting together a personal inventory. I spent quite a bit of time online trying to find a step-by-step but alas one does not exist, so that means this is going to tak a little longer since I have to both outline what I need to inventory and then fill it out. I thought I'd actually be done today, but I didn't. That's OK. I've been learning to not be hard on myself when things don't go as planned (do they EVER go as planned? I think not). The important thing is that I took an initial step to making some important life changes.

As for food, I did as I said and ate what I wanted, but I still listened to my body and used and my head. At dinner, I didn't force myself to eat everything I cooked. I even threw away some of the leftovers because I knew they wouldn't reheat well. Typically when this happens, I force myself to eat what won't save. I'm not good at letting go of hot, tasty food that's right in front of me. It actually wasn't even difficult. I'm so proud of myself!

Now for what I ate today:

• 1 1/3 pork steaks
• 1/2 cup of ice cream
• 1/2 lb hamburger
• white bun with 2T mayo
• steak fries, fried
• about 2 qts of iced tea w/rasberry syrup and sweet 'n' low

I've entered these items into Fitday.com and it's telling me that I've eaten 1653 calories, 108 grams of fat (972 calories, 59%), 71.4 grams of carbs (285.6 calories, 17%) and 94.3 grams of protein (377.2 calories, 23%). Not good at all. I had twice as much as the maximum amount of fat allowed, and of course none of it was good fat (or good protein for that matter). Wow. That's a lot of meat and fat with a bit of sugar for good measure. No fruits or veggies, even though there's a dark green salad mix, baby carrots and baked sweet potatoes in the fridge and apples in the fruit basket.

I ate around 8pm and at midnight I was ready to eat again, however, one of the rules to healthy eating is to not eat before bed. I have an additional problem in that my weight pressing on my chest while I sleep causes me to aspirate, and I don't want to die yet (or that way) so I didn't eat anything.

During dinner I realized I was starting to eat too much, but, because I'm working on being more positive with myself (as opposed to constantly seeing myself as a failure), I recognized that normally I'd force myself to eat the other hamburger and finish all the fries. I overate, but not as much as usual; not by a long shot.

I've already made some better choices, and the best part is that I didn't use anything at all as an excuse to put myself down. As long as I continue adding up positive choices and praise myself instead of tearing myself down, I'll be fine. :-D

LL xoxo