Milestone Goal: Vacation, June 23, 245 (11lbs & 23 days to go)
Before bed last night I wrote how I typically don't take a 2-lb weight gain too seriously because I tend to retain water, etc. So a day or two ago I weighed 259. It sucked, I won't lie, but the day before I weighed 257. Today however I weigh 256. Yeah that's right, I've finally broken through the 257 mark! And it's gonna keep getting better because a) I'm still retaining water, and b) it's that time. So yeah, it's all good.
LL xoxo
LIVIN' LARGE: Big changes for living big lives
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Well That's a Relief
Every so often I see my weight jump up about 2 lbs in one day and stick around. I typically cut myself some slack because a) 2 lbs isn't a big deal, and b) the body does what it does. But I have to say, women have one bit of relief that men don't when this happens: the wonderful monthly visitor. :-) Days like today when this turns out to be the case, I jump for joy (figuratively; read yesterday's post), not just because I know where those 2 extra pounds came from, but also because I will see a nice little reduction on the scale in about 5-7 days.
So unless I dip below 257, I'm not going to post my weight until next week. Here's to hoping for a loooow number!
So unless I dip below 257, I'm not going to post my weight until next week. Here's to hoping for a loooow number!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Can you say "Out of Shape?"
Instead of heading indoors to a fitness center, A and I decided to take it outdoors by walking through one of the city parks. Fate was definitely involved as we quickly came upon a workout station (the first of several) and I literally jumped right in to the challenges.
The first one was a row of 6x6's and the challenge was to hop over each one, preferably without stopping. Well, I didn't realize until I tried this that, hey, I don't jump! Not anymore. It was really hard, but I did it, one at a time. A was able to do them faster but he also weighs 90 lbs less. We took a walk around the neighborhood later after dinner and I jumped over a few curbs. It was amazing that just one jump increased my heart rate.
The other stations were for leg lifts (yeah, right, did 2 or 3), step-ups (like what we do with step aerobics; each post was a different height though, so it progressively got harder), and a couple of arm exercises. A and I were a bit worn out when we finished. Even though I did very little, what I was diong was a LOT for me. There is an ache in my arms today, so what does that tell ya? I am waaay out of shape.
It also tells me that walking on the treadmill is only going to do so much. I want to get strong and sculpt my body a bit, and this will take resistant training (which I loathe).
That's all for now. Gonna keep it short and sweet for once LOL Hope all are well.
LL xoxo
The first one was a row of 6x6's and the challenge was to hop over each one, preferably without stopping. Well, I didn't realize until I tried this that, hey, I don't jump! Not anymore. It was really hard, but I did it, one at a time. A was able to do them faster but he also weighs 90 lbs less. We took a walk around the neighborhood later after dinner and I jumped over a few curbs. It was amazing that just one jump increased my heart rate.
The other stations were for leg lifts (yeah, right, did 2 or 3), step-ups (like what we do with step aerobics; each post was a different height though, so it progressively got harder), and a couple of arm exercises. A and I were a bit worn out when we finished. Even though I did very little, what I was diong was a LOT for me. There is an ache in my arms today, so what does that tell ya? I am waaay out of shape.
It also tells me that walking on the treadmill is only going to do so much. I want to get strong and sculpt my body a bit, and this will take resistant training (which I loathe).
That's all for now. Gonna keep it short and sweet for once LOL Hope all are well.
LL xoxo
Psghetti Squash and Chicken Salad
As promised, here are a couple of low/no-carb recipes. The recipes in this post come from Allrecipes, my most favorite recipe site. Not only can you look up recipes (what I did for the chicken salad), you can search for recipes containing certain ingredients (which is what I did with the spaghetti squash). I HIGHLY recommend that you check this site out. To make this even better, users like you and me are able to upload recipes, and every recipe has numerous user reviews which is great because folks recommend changes they've made and what they liked best and worst about the recipes, so by the time you make it it's almost foolproof.
--> Clicking on the names of the recipes will link you to the actual recipe on Allrecipes.
Can you handle it? Can you handle all this yummy goodness?! :-D
that's spaghetti squash in the bowl. Not shown here are the cooked ground beef, onions and green pepper. Every ingredient is fresh aside from the dried herbs and spices and cheese.
I sauteed a diced green pepper, half an onion and garlic in olive oil.
Then I mixed everything together (herbs and spices, onion, green pepper, beef, diced tomatoes and cheese), transferred to a greased baking dish for 20 minutes and Voila! A pasta-free Italian casserole!
--> Clicking on the names of the recipes will link you to the actual recipe on Allrecipes.
Can you handle it? Can you handle all this yummy goodness?! :-D
that's spaghetti squash in the bowl. Not shown here are the cooked ground beef, onions and green pepper. Every ingredient is fresh aside from the dried herbs and spices and cheese.
I sauteed a diced green pepper, half an onion and garlic in olive oil.
Then I mixed everything together (herbs and spices, onion, green pepper, beef, diced tomatoes and cheese), transferred to a greased baking dish for 20 minutes and Voila! A pasta-free Italian casserole!
It doesn't look very appetizing in the picture, but a young friend of the family devoured his share. One thing I'd recommend from the original recipe is to double the seasonings for more flavor; the current measurements make it a bit bland. On the other hand, I was able to enjoy the full flavor of the veggies since there wasn't a sauce or tons of seasonings to cover them up.
I had never made chicken salad at home but instead always purchased it from the deli of local grocery stores. Love that deli chicken salad. But one night I decided I'd try it myself, so off to Allrecipes I went and found a recipe that 161 users had given 5 out of 5 stars and nearly 13,000 people had saved to their Allrecipes recipe boxes. The key to this is the use of dried onion. The recipe calls for minced onion but I use onion powder. Wowee is all I can say!
We mixed the seasonings with the mayo in this bowl, then added cubed chicken that I had boiled while working on another dish. I cooked up some turkey bacon, and threw that in too. I didn't have water chestnuts or celery, but it didn't matter. Since this was intended for low-carb, we just ate it like a side-dish. It could also work in lettuce wraps.
So this was dinner. Might seem sort of odd, but what I'm finding is that there are no rules, especially when removing a key item from traditional American meals (the starch). The hands-down winner was the chicken salad, everyone agreed, but we all really enjoyed the casserole too.
Give these a try and let me know what you think! :-)
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Check Out the Efforts on Her ;-)
Milestone Goal: Vacation, June 23, 245 (12lbs & 26 days to go)
Surprise, surprise I'm retaining water, but it's not as bad as yesterday (then again, I just got out of bed). I've had too many carbs lately, and not the good kind. In my last post I explained how I need to refocus, and I'm happy to report that yesterday was much better.
The first thing I did was get about 7 hours of sleep to give me a better start to the day. I then cooked my lunch and prepared a salad for lunch and snack. A few days ago I started fostering 5 kittens for a local non-profit, and the first thing I do each morning is feed them, clean them, and clean out their pen. It takes about an hour to do this and I get pretty dirty in the process. I have an adult cat that I'm fostering as well, plus my own kitties and a guinea pig (surprisingly, my house neither looks nor smells like a zoo; visitors can't even tell I have all these animals, thanks to my super organizational and cleaning skills LOL) that need attention as well. I decided that the kittens would just eat in their pen and would have to be cleaned later so that I had time for ME, to prepare MY food :-) Later I called my child and explained that the kittens would need bathing, feeding and a cleaned up pen; I'm so prepared for an argument that I avoid passing on chores as much as possible (that's another topic for another day). Moral of the story is that I took steps to put my health first and it paid off.
I knew I was taking A out for a belated birthday dinner to one of our most favoritest Chinese restaurants, and the dish that I always get is Thai Style Shrimp (oh, it's heavenly!), which is tossed in a flour mixture before frying. Flour is a general no-no, however, I am allowed a small amount of carbs now, so I adjusted my eating throughout the day accordingly to allow some wiggle room. Again, very proud of myself :-D
This morning A and I are going on a hike to get a great start to the day (he's getting up at 9a (which he never does). In my refocusing efforts, I'm also going to put together a menu for the week as well as a flexible workout schedule. When I did that a couple of weeks ago it made a HUGE difference in how I ate. When I was at a loss for snack and meal ideas, I'd look at the chart I put on the fridge for some ideas. You know what? I'm going to put that in my blog post tomorrow :-D
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| Question for readers: what do you do to stay on track or get back on track with your personal goals? |
Surprise, surprise I'm retaining water, but it's not as bad as yesterday (then again, I just got out of bed). I've had too many carbs lately, and not the good kind. In my last post I explained how I need to refocus, and I'm happy to report that yesterday was much better.
The first thing I did was get about 7 hours of sleep to give me a better start to the day. I then cooked my lunch and prepared a salad for lunch and snack. A few days ago I started fostering 5 kittens for a local non-profit, and the first thing I do each morning is feed them, clean them, and clean out their pen. It takes about an hour to do this and I get pretty dirty in the process. I have an adult cat that I'm fostering as well, plus my own kitties and a guinea pig (surprisingly, my house neither looks nor smells like a zoo; visitors can't even tell I have all these animals, thanks to my super organizational and cleaning skills LOL) that need attention as well. I decided that the kittens would just eat in their pen and would have to be cleaned later so that I had time for ME, to prepare MY food :-) Later I called my child and explained that the kittens would need bathing, feeding and a cleaned up pen; I'm so prepared for an argument that I avoid passing on chores as much as possible (that's another topic for another day). Moral of the story is that I took steps to put my health first and it paid off.
I knew I was taking A out for a belated birthday dinner to one of our most favoritest Chinese restaurants, and the dish that I always get is Thai Style Shrimp (oh, it's heavenly!), which is tossed in a flour mixture before frying. Flour is a general no-no, however, I am allowed a small amount of carbs now, so I adjusted my eating throughout the day accordingly to allow some wiggle room. Again, very proud of myself :-D
This morning A and I are going on a hike to get a great start to the day (he's getting up at 9a (which he never does). In my refocusing efforts, I'm also going to put together a menu for the week as well as a flexible workout schedule. When I did that a couple of weeks ago it made a HUGE difference in how I ate. When I was at a loss for snack and meal ideas, I'd look at the chart I put on the fridge for some ideas. You know what? I'm going to put that in my blog post tomorrow :-D
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Refocusing
Milestone Goal: Vacation, June 23, 245 (currently 257)
I've decided that instead of showing my current weight and weight loss, I'm going to list my next milestone goal, which will help me stay on track.
I seem to have lost my focus and have been finding exceptions for not following the plan. It's sort of weird how I am--I don't want to have a strict schedule, but if I don't have some sort of schedule there almost always are negative consequences. I am the type of person who likes to be busy but needs downtime so that I don't get overwhelmed. Right now I am lacking direction and have spent the past 1-2 weeks sort of flying by the seat of my pants, as they say. The result is that I feel very disorganized and that many things are suffering because of it.
I think part of the problem is that I'm still afraid of becoming overwhelmed. I have a history of either taking on too much or simply having too much to handle, both of which lead me to falling aprt and I hate that feeling. I'm also concerned about being to rigid with my schedule, but I really shouldn't because everyone who knows me understands and is perfectly fine with it. They know I have a busy life, and right now they all know how important it is for me to lose weight. What I need to do is regroup. In the past two weeks I've only lost a pound. I was O.K. with it last week, but not now.
My chaotic schedule is getting in the way of me taking the time necessary to plan and prepare meals and snacks. I'm going too long in between eating which has led to making bad meal choices. I'm bored with the quick meals and snacks because there isn't any variety. I like to read in bed but I've been going to bed much too late and therefore I haven't checked out any new recipes to try. I don't even look forward to eating at home right now.
So the first thing I need to do is remind myself why I'm doing this. I made a list of milestone goals recently so I'm going to start focusing on each one as it comes in order to stay on track. My next goal is 4 weeks from today when me and A go on vacation. I am 14 lbs away from that goal so I already know I won't make it because the most I have ever lost is 3 lbs per week. However, if I modify it to reflect the fact that I was 2 lbs from making my last milestone goal, the adjustment would put me right on target.
I also need to spend less time on the computer. I'm sure I have some sort of mild addiction because once I'm on I don't want to get off. Almost every morning I spend an hour or more doing nothing of value. That has to stop.
Additionally, I have so many things to do in the morning that lately I've just stopped doing them. When this happens, I don't go to work or I go late. I have work I can do from home but instead I avoid it (and all other responsibilities) when I waste time online.
I've written about what hasn't been working, so here is what I will do to make it all start working again:
LL xoxo
I've decided that instead of showing my current weight and weight loss, I'm going to list my next milestone goal, which will help me stay on track.
I seem to have lost my focus and have been finding exceptions for not following the plan. It's sort of weird how I am--I don't want to have a strict schedule, but if I don't have some sort of schedule there almost always are negative consequences. I am the type of person who likes to be busy but needs downtime so that I don't get overwhelmed. Right now I am lacking direction and have spent the past 1-2 weeks sort of flying by the seat of my pants, as they say. The result is that I feel very disorganized and that many things are suffering because of it.
I think part of the problem is that I'm still afraid of becoming overwhelmed. I have a history of either taking on too much or simply having too much to handle, both of which lead me to falling aprt and I hate that feeling. I'm also concerned about being to rigid with my schedule, but I really shouldn't because everyone who knows me understands and is perfectly fine with it. They know I have a busy life, and right now they all know how important it is for me to lose weight. What I need to do is regroup. In the past two weeks I've only lost a pound. I was O.K. with it last week, but not now.
My chaotic schedule is getting in the way of me taking the time necessary to plan and prepare meals and snacks. I'm going too long in between eating which has led to making bad meal choices. I'm bored with the quick meals and snacks because there isn't any variety. I like to read in bed but I've been going to bed much too late and therefore I haven't checked out any new recipes to try. I don't even look forward to eating at home right now.
So the first thing I need to do is remind myself why I'm doing this. I made a list of milestone goals recently so I'm going to start focusing on each one as it comes in order to stay on track. My next goal is 4 weeks from today when me and A go on vacation. I am 14 lbs away from that goal so I already know I won't make it because the most I have ever lost is 3 lbs per week. However, if I modify it to reflect the fact that I was 2 lbs from making my last milestone goal, the adjustment would put me right on target.
I also need to spend less time on the computer. I'm sure I have some sort of mild addiction because once I'm on I don't want to get off. Almost every morning I spend an hour or more doing nothing of value. That has to stop.
Additionally, I have so many things to do in the morning that lately I've just stopped doing them. When this happens, I don't go to work or I go late. I have work I can do from home but instead I avoid it (and all other responsibilities) when I waste time online.
I've written about what hasn't been working, so here is what I will do to make it all start working again:
- Prepare for my day the night before to ease the burden of a busy morning. Start doing this at 9p so that I can . . .
- . . . be in bed by 10p to get enough rest--the best start to any day
- Plan my menu for the week and put a printout of it in the kitchen.
- Exercise three times a week. In between trips to the fitness center, do a few exercises at home, such as crunches and squats.
- Attend "Bye Bye Birdie," the last show of the summer, at the Muny.
- Attend a show at the Fox Theater.
- Take two out-of-town trips.
- Do a bit of yard work.
- Spend some time with friends.
LL xoxo
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
40 Years Old Today: Mid-Life or the Start of a Second One?
257.0 (13 lbs lost)
So, I'm 40 today. This is a milestone birthday. Time to reflect on the first half of my life and look ahead to the second half.
Compared to turning 30, turning 40 is a piece of cake. We all think that we'll have life figured out by the time we are 30 which is why so many of us live wildly during our 20s. However, maturity doesn't magically appear. I turned 30 and felt like I was 20, like I was no further ahead than a responsible teenager. So my 30s turned into a time when I struggled with choices. I chose the wrong man. Everyone knew it but me. I was standing in the middle of my own life and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but didn't know how to stop it. I knew so much was wrong, but felt completely helpless.
Why? Because I had always been helpless in my own life (which is probably why my heart and actions go to people who have suffered helplessly). My birth was not a happy one for anyone in my family. I always felt this but was explicitly told when I was just 10 years old. For the most part, how I've been treated has depended on how a person felt at the time. In need of a lunch companion? Everything's good, kind words and actions are received. In need of proving loyalty to another, or to redirect anger from the actual offender, reminders of how unwanted I am are hurled my way (or even worse, am ignored while they act as if I never existed).
Because of this, I've never truly enjoyed my own experiences; if I was caught enjoying them, severe punishment was a guarantee. Good feelings were ripped apart and bad things that happened to me were always my fault. In an effort to disuade this as much as possible, I learned to think ahead several steps and act accordingly, however, as bad people go, they will do what they want regardless.
This has all clouded my judgement; I wasn't working with a normal mind in a normal world. I was working with a dysfunctional mind to survive my dysfunctional world. Unfortunately it also created dysfunction. One of the negative side effects has been my 26-year crutch to overeat. What you see are layers of decades of pain, and I've been afraid to let it go because of what would happen: I would become strong and happy, and as I've explained, being strong and happy are personal invitations for my family to treat me badly.
Many people don't know all of this about me because, unless you are very close to me, I am an expert at hiding it. I learned how to do this at the age of 13 when I'd go to school and excel, covering up what was the worst year of my life taking place at home. However, what people see is not a total lie. It's another part of who I am and also who I want to be: happy.
Which brings me to the present. I have finally realized why I've made bad choices. I couldn't forgive myself when I was 30, but at 40 I have. I take responsibility for my actions and will continue to apologize and make things right for others' who have suffered because of them. What I don't do anymore is beat myself up because they weren't really "my" choices. Under different circumstances I would have done much better.
So what does the 2nd half of my life have in store? I graduate in a year and will start a brand new career. I strongly suspect that I will be getting married around the same time. My child might be ready to live independently from me after earning an associate's degree. I will be at my goal weight, giving me the energy to live my life and the hips to do it (i.e. will be able to fly and attend theater because I won't struggle to fit in the seats). I will learn to smile more, and more genuinely. I'll laugh honestly. I will reach for the things I want and not care that someone may feel intimidated. I will excel because I enjoy the challenge and personal growth and won't think twice about how uncomfortable it may make people. However I will still be compassionate and will stick to my belief that bragging is an ugly trait (which is very different from sharing good news). I will travel and will learn that it's O.K. to keep my earned money for myself rather than feeling guilty that I have more than someone else (which always causes me to spend more money on other people than my own self). I will enjoy the rewards of this money. I will travel, buy nice clothes, and maybe even a car that doesn't have holes in the bumper or in the dashboard where the stereo should be. I will allow myself to feel love from other people and not block out compliments. I will learn how to do what is good and right for me, even if it doesn't fall within the ideally accepted American dream (like Leonardio DiCaprio's character in "The Beach--I really envy that). Heck, maybe some day I'll move to an island. Why not? :-D
I may not have been wanted, but I am here and I intend to make the best of it.
LL xoxo
So, I'm 40 today. This is a milestone birthday. Time to reflect on the first half of my life and look ahead to the second half.
Compared to turning 30, turning 40 is a piece of cake. We all think that we'll have life figured out by the time we are 30 which is why so many of us live wildly during our 20s. However, maturity doesn't magically appear. I turned 30 and felt like I was 20, like I was no further ahead than a responsible teenager. So my 30s turned into a time when I struggled with choices. I chose the wrong man. Everyone knew it but me. I was standing in the middle of my own life and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but didn't know how to stop it. I knew so much was wrong, but felt completely helpless.
Why? Because I had always been helpless in my own life (which is probably why my heart and actions go to people who have suffered helplessly). My birth was not a happy one for anyone in my family. I always felt this but was explicitly told when I was just 10 years old. For the most part, how I've been treated has depended on how a person felt at the time. In need of a lunch companion? Everything's good, kind words and actions are received. In need of proving loyalty to another, or to redirect anger from the actual offender, reminders of how unwanted I am are hurled my way (or even worse, am ignored while they act as if I never existed).
Because of this, I've never truly enjoyed my own experiences; if I was caught enjoying them, severe punishment was a guarantee. Good feelings were ripped apart and bad things that happened to me were always my fault. In an effort to disuade this as much as possible, I learned to think ahead several steps and act accordingly, however, as bad people go, they will do what they want regardless.
This has all clouded my judgement; I wasn't working with a normal mind in a normal world. I was working with a dysfunctional mind to survive my dysfunctional world. Unfortunately it also created dysfunction. One of the negative side effects has been my 26-year crutch to overeat. What you see are layers of decades of pain, and I've been afraid to let it go because of what would happen: I would become strong and happy, and as I've explained, being strong and happy are personal invitations for my family to treat me badly.
Many people don't know all of this about me because, unless you are very close to me, I am an expert at hiding it. I learned how to do this at the age of 13 when I'd go to school and excel, covering up what was the worst year of my life taking place at home. However, what people see is not a total lie. It's another part of who I am and also who I want to be: happy.
So what does the 2nd half of my life have in store? I graduate in a year and will start a brand new career. I strongly suspect that I will be getting married around the same time. My child might be ready to live independently from me after earning an associate's degree. I will be at my goal weight, giving me the energy to live my life and the hips to do it (i.e. will be able to fly and attend theater because I won't struggle to fit in the seats). I will learn to smile more, and more genuinely. I'll laugh honestly. I will reach for the things I want and not care that someone may feel intimidated. I will excel because I enjoy the challenge and personal growth and won't think twice about how uncomfortable it may make people. However I will still be compassionate and will stick to my belief that bragging is an ugly trait (which is very different from sharing good news). I will travel and will learn that it's O.K. to keep my earned money for myself rather than feeling guilty that I have more than someone else (which always causes me to spend more money on other people than my own self). I will enjoy the rewards of this money. I will travel, buy nice clothes, and maybe even a car that doesn't have holes in the bumper or in the dashboard where the stereo should be. I will allow myself to feel love from other people and not block out compliments. I will learn how to do what is good and right for me, even if it doesn't fall within the ideally accepted American dream (like Leonardio DiCaprio's character in "The Beach--I really envy that). Heck, maybe some day I'll move to an island. Why not? :-D
I may not have been wanted, but I am here and I intend to make the best of it.
LL xoxo
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