Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Glimmer of Hope?

I weighed myself this morning and I'm 260.0. Not exactly sure how that happened, but it's possible that I was still retaining some water from last week. Whatever it is, I'm happy to see the number drop. That alone gives me the encouragement I need to make better food choices.

Ah, food choices. I started off very well, but after class I came home and sat on the couch for 5 hours. Did nothing but watch T.V. and snack. I had made a casserole around lunchtime so that dinner would be available to all of us; I had a serving for lunch and another for dinner. Not too bad, right? Well, I hate watching T.V. without eating, so I had some low-fat popcorn. When that was gone I had 5 cookies. I didn't want the cookies, but I ate them anyway. I had a bowl of apple slices in the fridge but I forgot about it.

My food goal for today is to eat better snacks when watching T.V. Elimination is not the key; replacing unhealthy food with healthy food is the key because not only do I eat lots of junk, I rarely eat anything good for me. I am so lucky to be relatively healthy, but as I age my body will face unnecessary difficulties if I don't change this.

Another goal for today is to put in a fair amount of work on my paper. I'm having LOTS of trouble following through with the work I should be doing (as a grad student, there is only one deadline--papers due at the end of the semesters). I have three days off each week from work so that I may focus on school, but instead I play Online (yeah, smack my hand now LOL) and watch T.V. I'm avoiding the work because it's like trying to push a mountain, and turning to face the mountain puts me into a panic. I've been working on overcoming this for the past few months but I haven't made any real progress. So, I'll work on it again today.

In closing, I want to end with some positive thoughts, for myself as well as my readers:
  • I am alive today. I've been blessed with another day to see and hug the people I love and take part in their lives
  • The sun is shining and it's going to be 70 degrees! I can open the doors again :-)
  • I'm healthy. It's difficult to do certain things at this size, but difficult is not the same as impossible
  • There is plenty of food in the house to sustain us
  • We have heat, water, electricity, internet and cell phones. I think that's better than something like 75% of the world's population (a stat I read last year)
  • I feel safe at home and when I go out. That's so important for a woman.
  • I am loved by a very special man. I've searched for love for 20 years and have a man who does it unconditionally. Maybe one day he'll say the same about me :-D

  • We have the joy of caring for wonderful pets who bring us love and happiness every day
  • I have not been to a funeral for a friend or relative in several years.
  • There is a relative who absolutely refuses to speak to me, but she's alive, healthy and doing very well from what I understand. I am happy about that.
  • I no longer have PTSD :-D
See you tomorrow :-D

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