Saturday, May 14, 2011

Summer Break? Not Really ;-)


It's funny how I've always wanted to keep a journal so that when I am no longer around my child can read about my thoughts and feelings regarding things that have happened in my life. I've never had the patience; it's always seemed so dull, however, here I am writing several times a week about issues that are the most important to me. I guess blogging can be considered a new form of journaling, depending on your topic.



My summer has officially started, and although I have to work this weekend to get a full paycheck, I am free from my internship and classes. Ooh, just remembered though that I have to finish editing a paper for my research project and then prepare to defend it, so there is that. It's all good though cuz then I'll have my first grad degree at the end of the summer.

Yesterday I laid out weight-loss milestones to help keep me on track. Today I want to write about the things I want to do/accomplish this summer. Last summer was the worst, I mean WORST summer I've ever had, and barring any further terrible things, I want to make the most of it.

First and foremost, I'm going to work 30-40 hours per week and convert my internship to straight volunteering so that I can build on the foundation I've created. Between that and work, weekdays are filled. I also want to exercise regularly, 2-3 times each week (3 times would be ideal), so that could be in the evenings or anytime on the weekend. I do know that I can't intentionally put it off though because the weekend may come and I won't want to work out. I've gotta figure this one out.

There are tasks around the house that I want to work through. The basement needs to be cleaned and cleaned out. It's not terrible, would only take a few hours, but it's needed. I deep cleaned the kitchen a few weeks ago, and all of the rooms need it. I also want to set up a sort of schedule for cleaning so that deep cleaning won't be necessary (yeah, the house tends to fall apart a bit when I focus on school).

I also want to do some fun things, like take a couple of long weekends out of town, attend cultural events (some of which can't happen until I lose enough weight to fit into tiny seats designed 100 years ago for tiny people who could only afford to eat once a day).

Finally, I want to continue with the self-connection I've started, the one where I've started clearing out the crap (people) from my life and putting my emotional health first. For anyone who doesn't understand, it's not easy to remove family members from your life. We all start out with family, even if it's just single parents. We grow up with people around us that are or will become our families. Good or bad, they are there. Letting them go for any reason is not easy. Even if it's the right thing to do, it has some negative side effects, like realizing that holiday traditions and weekday get-togethers for lunch will no longer happen. I used to call my mother when I'd get in the car and chat with her as I went from one meeting to the next. I sit in the car in silence now, wanting to pick up the phone but knowing that I can't. About once a week one of us would call and say, "Hey, watcha doin'? I've got some free time, wanna get some lunch?" Now I can't do that. What will I do for holidays? My birthday is coming up, the Big 4-0, and I won't get any happy birthdays from my family. There's usually some good sprinkled in with the bad. I'm not going to miss any of it because it all came with a price (and even during "happy times" I had internal tension as I knew I had to monitor everything I did so as to prevent any more crap from being hurled at me). It's the adjustment that's tough.

Here is the general list of what I want to do this summer:


  • Attend "Bye Bye Birdie," the last show of the summer, at the Muny. Whether I fit in the "regular" (they really are ridiculously tiny) seats or not, I at least want to find out what my progress is from last summer (so that you understand, Muny seats are not only tiny, but they have closed sides and are square, so anyone who carries weight in the hips & butt will have a hard time with this; those will bellies but small butts are fine).
  • Attend a show at the Fox Theater. "A" has never been, so that will be cool. I was going to see "Wicked" with a friend last summer, but after my visit to the Muny when I had no choice but to sit in the handicap row, I decided against it. However, in December of 2009, I went to the Fox and was fine, so I only need to lose a few more pounds :-D
  • Take two out-of-town trips. I haven't been out of town since January 2010 and I'm desperately in need of some downtime.
  • Do a bit of yard work. Pull some dead stuff and ugly stuff from the ground and trim the trees.
  • Spend some time with friends. This past year has been intense, crazy, and I had to sacrifice time with friends in order to keep my head above water. I'd like to visit each one at least once: Pat, Sofi, Denise, Nan, Justin, Keke, Catherine K. and anyone else I can think of.
  • Read. Many students will tell you that they don't do enough leisure reading and I'm no exception.
If this looks like a lot it's because it is. That's me. Never one to sit still for long.

LL xoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment